MadBitcoins! speech to the Third Bitcoin Army (Patton Movie Speech)

I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.

Men, all this stuff you've heard about Bitcoin not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war is a lot of horse dung. Bitcoiners traditionally love to fight. All real Bitcoiners love the sting of battle.

When you were kids you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, big-league ball players, the toughest boxers.

Bitcoiners love a winner and will not tolerate a loser.

Bitcoiners play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That's why Bitcoiners have never lost and will never lose a war because the very thought of losing is hateful to Bitcoiners.

Now, an mining pool is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don't know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

Now we have the finest ASICs and GPUs, the best spirit and the best people in the world.

You know, by God, I actually pity those poor fiat bastards we're going up against. By God, I do. We're not just going to shoot the bastards, we're going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our miners. We're going to murder those lousy fiat bastards by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys I know are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty.

The Credit Card Fees are the enemy. Wade into them! Spill their blood! Shoot them in the belly! When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's bitcoin wallet, you'll know what to do.

Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying we are "holding our position." We're not "holding" anything. Let the Fiat do that. We're advancing constantly. We're not interested in holding on to anything except the enemy. We're going to hold on to him by the nose and kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose!

Now, there's one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank Bitcoin for it.

Thirty years from now when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you "What did you do in the great Digital Currency War?" You won't have to say "Well, I shoveled bits in Louisiana. "

All right, now, you sons of bitches you know how I feel. I will be proud to lead you wonderful bitcoins into battle anytime, anywhere.

That's all.